A Womb At The Inn


Half way there
July 24, 2011, 1:58 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Where to start..it’s been awhile since I posted last and all the exciting things about pregnancy are beginning.  About a month ago I started to feel baby move.  As some of you mother’s might understand, it took me a bit to decide if it was little baby kicks or run of the mill gas..which by the way this baby is no stranger to, unfortunately for me and my family.  It is easy for me to see all the little things that happened during my pregnancies with my babies and how they relate to how the kids are now (or were as babies)…and I’m so interested in seeing/hearing about some of the connections here.  I have a hunch that this will be a gassy little baby.  In the evenings we eat dinner, put the kids down to bed then retire ourselves to the living room to watch a show and chat about the day…around that time I normally have an after dinner snack.  It doesn’t take much to make me feel like I’m overfull (despite still having the urge to keep eating)..like food has piled up into my throat and is ready to come out if I dare move my tongue.  Anyhow, while we watch our show I normally lay down on the couch and as soon as I sit up I always have the most embarrassingly huge burp.  So, mommy/daddy, if baby is crying and you go through the list…my guess is gas! Haha. 

 Back to baby moving.  A month later and I’m starting to feel the baby moving when I put my hand over my stomach.  It is really faint on my hand still but I’m hoping that by the time of our next apt. with the midwife the baby’s movements will be stronger and mommy can feel her baby play with her. 🙂  About 2 weeks ago we had the big ultrasound, too!  And although I keep saying baby, we know now that baby is  GIRL!  My hubby and I had been feeling like baby was either a girl or a sensitive boy.  It was funny this time around…with our babies we felt like we knew right away what the gender would be.  And both times we were right.  This time I felt like I had no clue.  Just one of the many things that make carrying someone else’s baby different from carrying your own.  I feel very disconnected overall.  Of course I do all the normal things to promote the health of baby just like I did with my own…but the emotions involved are very different.  I’m happy about this though, it’s how I thought I would feel before I made the decision to go down this road.

  I just finished reading a book and one of the characters was a surrogate but she had a hard time emotionally separating herself from the baby.  I’m very glad that I’m on the other side of that spectrum.  Like babysitting…I want to take good care of baby while it is with me but will be very glad to see mommy/daddy pick baby up (sticking with the babysitting concept).  Another example of the disconnect lies in my growing belly.  I obviously understand I am pregnant but for some reason when I see myself in a picture or in the mirror my first thought is along the lines of “oh man I need to do something about that muffin top”.  And then one part of my mind tells the other to not forget there is a baby growing in there and everything is just fine.  Part of it, too, or at least I think, is that I am gaining weight differently than I did with my kids.  Maybe it’s just the 3rd pregnancy, dk.  I feel like my body is much more sloppy this time around.  During my pregnancies my belly grew but the rest of me stayed firm.  So even though I know I’m pregnant..I feel like I’m hitting a bit of a late-20’s crisis, haha.  Like I’m having to accept that my body is no longer going to be the young toned and firm body it used to be.  I know I’m probably sounding melodramatic, that is what my husband says just not in those words.  It does help to have a husband who is so amazingly supportive.  I could go on and on about the ways he keeps this pregnant hormonal mind of mine at ease but that would take a whole blog of it’s own :P.  A few weeks ago he took me to get a mani-pedi (which isn’t something I normally do) which was much appreciated since my feet have already start to swell a little and even though I am not huge on the whole grooming part of a pedi. I very much enjoy the massaging, hot wax (is that right?) that they soaked my feet in..all that jazz.  Thinking that with all the changes in my body and the pregnancy aches that have started it wont be long from now and I’ll be treating myself to a pregnancy massage…rub the tension out of my back and the pressure out of my feet.  Little nervous though.  My husband sent me for a spa day when I was pregnant with our second baby and even though it was one of the best places on the island I left with a knot rubbed into my back!  Normally works the other way around.  Anyhow, every now and then I still get pain in the area they hurt during that massage. 

Well, I figure this is update enough for now and I will be back to ramble on some more in a few weeks.