A Womb At The Inn

Here goes
May 26, 2011, 3:57 am
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So baby’s mamma (hehe) asked me at the last apt. if I was starting to grow out of my clothes yet..and I don’t think I got a chance to answer that.  I’m uncomfortably, top button undone, fitting into my jeans still.  I seriously need to start thinking about maternity clothes and all that jazz.  I need to start dedicating more time to oiling myself..the plan is to sit the vit. E oil bottle on the back of the toilet so I have to see it a few times a day and hope at least one of those times I will decide it is a good time to oil up (mostly meaning the kids around following me to the bathroom and my girl decides she needs to be oiled, too).  Good thing is though that this oil is pretty un-oily if that makes sense.  But yah, clothes..need to get to that.  Awhile back a friend got me a few pairs of XS maternity jeans..wonderful thought that was amazingly appriciated..but hehe, maybe I should be flattered that she thought I was an XS..don’t know.  But they fit tightly at the time and not a chance of it now.  Curious how I’ll grow this time.  We were talking about who/what influences baby’s growth..genes or caretaking..surely it is both but we shall see which is more since I carried similarly (weight/distribution wise) with my babies.  Hoping I don’t start getting bigger til the last few months like with my babies so I have less to worry about with explanations to the kids…and random congrats (gotten a few of those and I’m actually taking pleasure in seeing the surprise when I say, “oh thanks but it’s not mine”..hehehe).  That’s not as fun though as when my hubby says the baby isn’t his.  Have to have a humor with it :).  Another note, I was really hoping baby would bring some flexibility about what I eat..for example, with my son I was able to eat dairy which normally is horrible to me (not taste wise).  Not happening yet…went for ice cream the other day and I’m just glad I enjoyed it so much while I was eating it bc it hurt my tummy so bad later on.  And today I decided it just might be worth it to eat my cereal with a fork to drain extra milk out of the bite. 

Here is to the beginning of the growth!


12wk doc. apt.
May 24, 2011, 6:01 pm
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Met up with baby’s parents yesterday for the 12 wk apt w/the midwife and for some prenatal screening.  Started off with a nice surprise…I’ve mentioned not being able to fight past the sickness/fatigue enough to get some good meals cooked for me and the family (for the past monthish) and it was so sweet of them to bring us a nice card and gift certificates to a few places (like olive garden, yuuumm) in the area!  Super helpful and thoughtful of them!  Another nice, not so surprise, is that I got out of the pelvic exam they normally do thanks to the uncountable number of times the fertility docs were looking around in there and decided it was healthy enough for them to trust putting baby in there.  A relief to me since I was so happy to be out of the internal checkups part of this (plus the shots, did I mention that!). We ended up running a lot late with the midwife but the ultrasound dept. still made space for us (an hour late).  That was exciting for them to be able to see the change over the last few wks from little clump of cells to medium clump to little baby in there!  And what an active baby, too…was moving around almost the whole time.  Should be interesting as baby gets bigger and I’m feeling all that action in there.   Good note, the ultrasound looked normal and didn’t show any signs of down syndrome or a few other things they look for.  We wait for the blood test which should come back in a weekish but I’m not too worried about anything. 

On another note, this is going to me complicated than planned with our babies.  Our son has been drawing pictures of him in my belly and my girl has decided she has a baby in her belly.  I told a friend the other day I’m going to try to pull this off like a teenage girl hiding a pregnancy from her parents….My son is old enough to get it and so far we aren’t thinking we have to worry about him having any problems once my belly grows and all that from there on but my lil girl..might be a dif. story there.  She has become so baby crazed so we are thinking we’ll actually need to do a bit of hiding job from her so she doesn’t get excited about it.

May 20, 2011, 4:06 pm
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Feeling hopeful!  Yesterday I woke up with an unusual lack of nausea and fatigue so poured a quick bowl of cereal and employed the children as my helpers.  We spent the morning making up for the cleaning I haven’t been able to do.  So while my home still looks a bit..well, less organized/clean than I would like it has been swept, mopped, vacuumed, dishes cleaned, and some laundry is done.  I was even able to keep the nausea in check enough to power through the horrible smell (only to me) of most foods and cooked the family some dinner…baby does not care for tacos at this point.  This is a big step since I haven’t had both the energy or the ability to get past the smells to cook anything other than oatmeal or other grain based foods (smells aren’t strong).  So I’m hoping the leaf is turning and I can get back to old me again..enjoy some play with my family and we can all go back to eating home cooked meals!

11 wks
May 13, 2011, 4:23 am
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Today was a good day!  Thank goodness bc I very truly needed one.  The sun came out (and the clouds went away, a bit). and the whole family felt good (relatively).  We decided to take the kids and get out of the house for a few hours.  Went to the “kids place” as our son puts it, and had a great time with the kids.  Amazed to see how many parents ignored their children and kept their eyes on their cell instead.  Made me wonder if it was entertainment or work related business on their phone that was more important than their child in a public place/wanting to play with them.  Anyhow, it was great to get out of the house and have fun with the family.  I’ve been in a deep rut lately between nausea and fatigue.  I was telling baby’s mom how I feel like such a horrible wife/mother this past month.  Normally I’m pretty big on cooking meals for the family most days.  On his good days my hubby likes to take the kitchen but normally I take the kitchen and he takes the kids.  I haven’t been able to bring myself to cook more than two or three times this last month with how repulsive almost all food is to me.  So that means a lot of microwave/eating out/fast food for my family which none of us are all too happy about.  The other day I was able to have a few good hours in the morning and made nana bread (and the kids got to help make it so we had tons of fun with that!).   Then of course there is cleaning.  My poor husband has been trying his best to fill my shoes but..well, his feet are a bit too big. 😉  Those of you closer to me know a bit about my husband’s medical conds…he has really been kicking his own butt trying to keep the house clean while I am so flat out of energy.  I think I mentioned before how much energy this baby is taking to grow…hope it isn’t proportional to size at birth, haha.  Anyhow, all this means that the energy my hubby would normally put towards trying to deal with his body and stay sane is going towards trying to fill the spots I’m leaving empty and it’s been a bit of an ugly few weeks for us.  But oh man how I love him for being so supportive and caring.  Hah, just popped in my head how baby’s mom was wondering why it is I’ve been feeling like this.  I almost had no words.  It’s funny how different people can be.  In my head there is no wondering why I’m feeling the way I do.  Granted I didn’t feel like this with my children…I still understand that every pregnancy is different and it may just be a bit of “luck of the draw” type things.  Pregnancy will/can make you sick, tired, grumpy, and the list goes on and on.  I don’t question it or feel it needs to be questioned why from one pregnancy to another there will variation in symptoms.  But it seems baby’s mom is a bit more technical about it than that…was probably full of “why”s when she was a kid (am I right?).  Speaking of technical…we have the 12 wk apt coming up in a bit over a week.  They’ll be doing the first trimester screening for abnormalities (down syndrome, etc.) which is basically a blood draw and an ultrasound.  Looking forward to ultrasounds being external from here on out, hope they don’t let me down with that one!

If you are happy and you know it..wave your flipper
April 29, 2011, 2:25 am
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So today was 9 wk ultrasound day and if I ever saw a baby happy to see its parents this is one!  To start with, the nausea that has been constantly luring beneath the surface for the last two weeks suddenly disappeared and I was able to enjoy the first meal in two weeks w/o having to will myself through each bite.  What a relief!  But before we got to that point, the ultrasound this time was a completely different experience from the first time.  Baby has growth from 7cm to 22cm..more than tripling in size in two weeks.  You could see much more of a human shape this time which I think helped baby’s parents connect a bit more emotionally.  We could really see happiness on their faces this time which was really great.  Being the technical mother-to-be that she is, baby’s mom was guestimating at the heart rate since the ultrasound machine is a bit out of date.  Her husband, a bit more up my isle, saw the heart beat easily but made no prediction about the rate at which point baby reached out its little flipper of an arm and waved to its parents in a bit of a “Hey, I’m here and I’m happy you are out there” gesture.  Couldn’t have been better.  On another note, last time there was a faint 2nd heartbeat that was not there this time.  We could all clearly see the second yolk sac but there was a major size difference between the two…with all that said, this process has produced one healthy baby and the second embryo will just be absorbed through the rest of the pregnancy without hurting either me or the healthy baby.  And as a memento of the healthy heartbeat still there, baby’s parents shared another heartbeat with us.  We thoroughly enjoyed the few hours around this apt. today and will be looking forward to the next one in about a month.

Did I mention the sickness, haha
April 27, 2011, 1:35 am
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Oh I know those of you who had “morning” sickness hit you hard during your pregnancy are sitting back and saying “stop the whining” which I might be saying if I were in your spot…but yet 😉 I whine, haha. 

I didn’t really get hit like this with my kids so it’s been a bit of an experience for me.  I just read on http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/survivingmorningsickness.html that you might need to avoid cooking during the first trimester.  Cooking was what I was all about during my first pregnancy but I def. see the validity of that comment right now.  As much as I hate it (and that isn’t sarcastic, I really am not a fan of constant eating out..none of us really are) we have had to eat out quite a bit so far.  I can’t take the smell of the food before/during cooking.  I do need to start stashing away some kind of snack, crackers maybe, next to my bed for first thing in the morning.  But that website mentions preggie pops, great idea!  Those are a great idea and actually all the flavors listed sound like they fit the cause..a little tangy/tart  to keep the nausea down.  Might need to invest in those.  Another site says sleep the nausea away…what a wonderful idea right? In an ideal world.  Lately I have been inspired by a friend who used to cook waffles with strawberries and whip cream for me and her daughter in the mornings when I would stay over.  What an amazingly wonderful idea..no nasty smell coming from that at all.  Filling enough to get me through a little time and wonderfully tasty!  I’ve had those for a few breakfasts and dinners lately 🙂

Meanwhile, where I used to be a spaz about this or that when offered help with cleaning (my husband trying to do laundry or dishes…) I have learned to try and laugh away the frustration and “incorrectly” packed dishwashers or this or that and just be thankful I have someone who is caring enough to help.  Just being thankful to have someone I’m not afraid to let go of some of the control to. 

Another note, I was looking at the website for the hospital I will be going to and there was a picture of a laboring woman on her back with a doc by her side…my son walks up and says “hey, will your belly be big again like that, and is that you on that computer?” haha.

Oh, the love :)
April 20, 2011, 8:14 pm
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So I’ve tried to pretty hush-hush about this whole journey (haha, could you tell) and pretty selective about who I give my blog out too and who I even tell I’m doing this.  You can never tell how a person will react to something like this so I had decided to just avoid a reaction at all.  Seems like a bit of a joke though really since I am from the teeny tiniest of towns where no information is private.  With that in mind I only told people I felt would find out along the way and be hurt without being told before it was too obvious (namely my parents and my closest brother).  Well, in typical small town fashion that news developed into a bit of (what my friend called) a grapevine and made its way around.  Oh, I know I can’t control the news my parents spread and I’m hoping they can keep a bit more of a lid on it.  HOWEVER, I am very happy to now have a few people in my loop who have been very important to me..well, since uhm, preschool?  I’m saying that because I can’t really remember a time when this wonderful family wasn’t in my life and helping me shape who I have become.  They have been great friends and family to me over the years and I am so happy to have them supporting me in this journey as well.  I’ve gotten a bit of hesitation from my parents..and actully no response at all from my brother now that I think of it…so it has been wonderful having the encouragement and support of people not directly involved in this baby making 🙂 

Thank you and I love you!